


Bernadetta's Impossible Task

by WotanAnubis



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Introversion, Light Angst, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 11:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20134864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WotanAnubis/pseuds/WotanAnubis
Summary: In which Bernadetta attempts to beat the odds.





	Bernadetta's Impossible Task

Bernadetta looked at her best friend in the whole wide world - the door of her room. It was big and heavy and she could lock it. It kept everyone and everything away from her. As long as she was behind that door she was safe, which was the only thing she'd ever asked from anyone.

Now it was a barrier. Bernadetta stood clutching a bunch of flowers. Her grip was so tight she feared she might snap the stems right in half. Her palms were sweaty. Her heart was beating so loudly she could hear it pound in her ears.

She had to go outside. Had to. _Had_ to. She had to. Absolutely. She had to open her door and... and... leave her room to... where people hopefully weren't. Had to. She didn't have a choice.

Except she did have a choice. She didn't have to go to class or go get food. This wasn't mandatory or necessary or even really all that meaningful if it came right down to it. She could just stay inside and nobody ever know or notice or blame her or anything.

But she would know. So that was it. She had to. She couldn't not. It's just... she'd rather do it some other time that wasn't now. But Bernadetta knew herself well enough to know that other time would never actually arrive and now would always be a bad time. And the longer she put this off, the more impossible it would become. So it had to be now. It couldn't be any other time.

Right.

Bernadetta didn't move. She could feel the muscles in her arm, suggesting that maybe, on some other universe, some other Bernadetta had reached out and opened that door. But it hadn't been this one. This Bernadetta just stood frozen.

"Come on Bernie, you can do this," she said. She didn't know why. She'd always been terrible about motivating herself and just trotting out some platitude wasn't going to help.

She was getting thirsty, too. Probably because of all the sweating.

Alright, alright, she'd get **one** drink and then she'd go. No excuses. Just one drink. And then she was gone.

Bernadetta put the flowers on her desk, poured herself a glass of water, and sat down on her bed. She realised her mistake after the second sip.

Mere moments ago she'd almost been out the door. She'd already been standing, she'd already had the flowers, the only thing left to do was get into motion. Now she had to finish drinking her water _and_ stand up _and_ put the glass away _and_ pick up the flowers _and_ walk up to the door just get back to where she'd already been! She'd just make everything more difficult for herself. Again!

Bernadetta stared morosely at her glass, suddenly having lost all interest in her water. 

What'd she ever done to get stuck as Bernie? Why couldn't she have been Edelgard? Edelgard wouldn't have had this problem. She wouldn't even see there was a problem. She'd just see what needed to be done and then do it. If someone told her that it took an immense effort of will just to stand up she wouldn't be able to understand them.

But she wasn't Edelgard. She was just Bernie.

Alright, no, there were times where she could wallow in misery, but this wasn't one of them. She needed to pull herself together and just go. Just this once she had to be an actual human being and do something. Something tiny and insignificant. Nobody would notice and nobody would care, but she had to do it _anyway_, because otherwise what was even the point of her continued existence?

Alright, so, she'd already mapped out the route. She wouldn't have to go far and she could take a path where she probably wouldn't run into anyone. True, she had to pass the bridge to the cathedral, but at this time of day there probably wouldn't be a lot of people there. She could try to avoid the bridge, but that'd mean a huge detour involving greater chances of people talking to her, or seeing her, or knowing that she existed. She'd just have to risk it.

Bernadatta chugged the rest of her water. In her haste she spilled water down her chin and stained her school uniform. Well, she had to change clothes now. It wouldn't do to go out with water stains all over her-

No. **No.** She wasn't doing this. She wasn't going to find new excuses to put off going. She was going to go. And she was going to go now.

Right now.

This very second.

Now.

As soon as she got her legs working again, she would go.

This very instant.

Any moment now.

She was going to do this.

Absolutely. 100%.

No more delaying.

She could do this.

She had to do this.

Definitely.

Right now.

* * * * *

She'd almost made it. She'd chosen her route carefully, picked a time of day where there'd be few people around. She'd reached the stairs without encountering anyone. She'd almost dared to hope that maybe she could get through this alright. But of course she couldn't.

Someone was behind her. They hadn't made a lot of noise, but Bernadetta's finely honed senses could pick up even the smallest human sounds.

She turned around, holding the flowers like a protective shield.

It was Byleth. Normally the Professor's presence would've been... well... about as reassuring as someone's presence could be. Bernadetta had always been weirdly comforted by her teacher's blank, expressionless face. Byleth was never angry, never disappointed, never passed judgement. It was the most Bernadetta could have ever hoped for in a teacher.

Now those blank eyes were heavy with sadness.

"Professor?" Bernadetta began, "I, um, I brought some flowers for Jeralt."


End file.
